@thespacewad: If your parents say, "You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up", remind them that they'll have to die for you to be Batman.
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@TheBoydP: Diet Coke: Making people feel better about ordering two Big Macs and a large fry since 1982.
@seandunn76: Me: Kensington, fetch me my robe. K: You sold your robe and everything else you own so you could afford a butler. Me: Hold me, Kensington.
@drxubair: I dream to live in a world where I can politely get out of plans by saying, "I'm so sorry, but I just remembered I don't want to"