@thespacewad: If your parents say, "You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up", remind them that they'll have to die for you to be Batman.
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@DillDoes: Monkey: "We're not so different" Me: "Did that monkey just talk to me" Monkey: "Monkey noise" Me: "Did it just say 'monkey noise'?"
@JillBidenVeep: Joe: I'm going to ask Donald if he wants something to eat Barack: That's nice, Joe Joe: And then I'm going to offer him knuckle sandwiches
@TheTweetOfGod: The Vatican just deleted all the Pope's tweets. Because NO ONE denies reality like the Catholic Church.