@ericacanrant: If your partner makes you sleep closest to the door, you are either the protector or bait for the zombies.
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@Elizasoul80: Trump, 2 years into his presidency: "What do you mean we can't just file for bankruptcy?"
@AmishPornStar1: Woah!!! You're a much fatter family than the stick figures on your rear window would indicate!
@ItsAndyRyan: Capt of Titanic: "Mayday! We are sinking" Coastguard: "What happened?" *Cthulhu makes throat-slit gesture with tentacle* Capt: "Iceberg"