@ericacanrant: If your partner makes you sleep closest to the door, you are either the protector or bait for the zombies.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MikeMcNeil_: wife: "HOW ARE WE OUT OF ICE AGAIN?" me: "DUNNO," I yell from the bathroom; the penguin and I can barely contain our laughter.
@prufrockluvsong: Things Stephen King books taught me to be afraid of: -dogs -cars -storm drains -hotels -the street -writers -little girls -the prom
@NintenDom: Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except for one. He's never gonna give you Up.