@HiddleDeeDee: If your pharmacist was as hot as mine, you'd be in line for your fifteenth flu shot as well.
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@thenatewolf: DEBATE CAPTAIN: You're off the debate team ME: No I'm not DEBATE CAPTAIN: Damn. Where the hell was this guy at regionals?
@JohnnyNami: "If someone wanted to murder you, a night light wouldn't stop them" I will never lie to my future children.
@davidkenny100: Morgan Freeman: I'm not losing my mind, I'm not losing my mind. [Morgan Freeman voice] He was though. He was losing his mind big time
@MUMSIEesq: [HOSPITAL] DOCTOR: "A-tisket a-tasket, you're gonna need a casket." WIFE: "What?" DR: "Your husband's knee surgery did not go well AT ALL."