@shariv67: If your phone rings during a movie, answer it "Yes, Mr. President. Right away, sir!" And then run head first through the screen.
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@wendyraepearce: If all my Facebook friends followed me on twitter, I'd be dragged to church for an exorcism.
@lacybronze1: I'm surprised more killers haven't lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial
@Shock_Monster: It's been clinically proven that the most effective form of birth control I can use is: "Just be myself."
@AristotlesNZ: If a cop is at the door when I answer, I yell into the house "Anyone order a stripper?" then say "Sorry, wrong house" & slam the door shut.