@ilovepie84: If your Prius was a transformer his name would be Fagatron
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@dafloydsta: FRIEND: Women like an adventure ME: Okay [later on phone] ME: Are you having fun? DATE: *clearly upset* YOU LEFT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
@jjhartinger: My 6yo niece grabbed all the sharpies & uttered, "I'm testing something out." I never knew this kind of fear existed.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I'd like to bring a guest.