@ilovepie84: If your Prius was a transformer his name would be Fagatron
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@LoneWolfStories: Damn you autocorrect for making me look like an idiom. Always trying to make a tool out of me.
@jakob_huber: I feel bad for tailgating this minivan so closely but once I started watching Kung Fu Panda on his back seat TV I had to see it through.
@WilliamAder: To my followers in Florida in the path of the hurricane: Remember to keep your phone charged. These tweets don't "like" themselves.
@dulcetry: [Spider sits at computer and Googles probability of being eaten by human in his lifetime] Holy shit Sharon, COME SEE THIS