@notfaizzy: If your surname is Rice and you don't name your kid, Fried then I can never be friends with you.
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@SaveItForFest: You see me wildly flailing my arms. Did I: a) Walk through a spider web? b) Try to wrap something in Saran wrap? c) Try to use Scotch tape?
@DamienFahey: About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
@AndyShulk: If you run through an airport yelling "Marybeth I love you don't go!" then you can cut through so many lines of people who like romance.
@FancyNancyAnn: I hate when I drop my chili cheese dog in my car and then I have to eat my whole car.