@ericsshadow: If your wife is a school crossing guard, you're missing a huge opportunity if you don't tell people she's into human trafficking.
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@SteveSuckington: The average person eats 8 spiders a year *eating 2nd bowl of spiders* "WHO'S AVERAGE NOW DAD?"
@RobDenBleyker: I choose which country to root for in the Olympics by what cuisine I'm hungry for at the moment. Go Italy! #gnocchi2014