@therepoguy: If your wife says "take out the trash" do not reply with "you cooked it you take it out."
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@ElKnuckelhombre: Me: Ohhh, MARITAL arts workshop...now I really feel stupid in this karate outfit. Wife to therapist: Do you see what I'm dealing with here?
@lazerdoov: Went to my uncle's funeral today open bar pretty good food but my uncle was dead 3/5 stars
@TragicAllyHere: [I see a bug outside] Nature is marvelous [I see a bug inside] This must be the deliverer of my death