@therepoguy: If your wife says "take out the trash" do not reply with "you cooked it you take it out."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@trevso_electric: "Everyone give us money in case something happens and when something happens we'll call you a liar." -insurance
@drankturpentine: a murderer tries to stab me but im wearing rollerskates and he just kind of pushes me a few feet
@bwfrance: On second thought, it was probably a bad idea to start my freestyle rap with "I like oranges."