@therepoguy: If your wife says "take out the trash" do not reply with "you cooked it you take it out."
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@TheRolo: Table for six please? "Is your party coming soon or?" [Takes 4 turtles and a rat out from coat] I'm going to need booster seats
@Sir_Strange: I almost died today, so naturally my first impulse was to pull my phone out and tweet about it.