@iwearaonesie: If your wife walks in and turns the light on while you're staring at the ceiling, make sure you yell "My eyes!" BEFORE she starts changing
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@mewritesgood: Hey Google, if I'm searching for "herpes symptoms" then no, no I'm not "feeling lucky."
@garrydavenport: To those of you who received a book from me as a Christmas present: just to let you know that they are due back at the library tomorrow.