@DarzieDAMN: If you're a girl on twitter and you have no pictures of yourself, I'm automatically assuming you're a cat that learned to use a computer.
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@junejuly12: The main difference between kids and dogs is that kids grow out of following you to the bathroom
@relatabledad: every morning i swallow a piece of paper that says "keep up the good work fellas!!" just in case i die and doctors gotta do an autopsy on me
@pixelatedboat: Is there something I can hang around my neck to show that I'm a big fan of crucifixions?