@HallpassCanada: If you're a grown man walkin around with a winter hat that has animal ears I can tell that @ some point people used 2 take your lunch money
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@ImHopel3ss: My dealer said he'll be here in 20 minutes with the best popcorn ever. We're gonna watch a movie!
@mrtruthandsoul: How much of this "no more tears" shampoo do I have to feed this baby to get it to stop crying?
@WhosTheresa: I could've had a kid with a heroin addiction but Noooo. Instead my kid wants to join a Christian rock band.
@AristotlesNZ: Boss: Got good news & bad news. Me: Ya? Him: I'm leaving for another job. Me: Ok..Whats the bad news? Him: .. Me: You planning to come back?