@Wuttercuerk: If you're a Mormon, and you have a mom, and you haven't been referring to her exclusively as Mitt Momney...then why the hell are you Mormon?
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@onion_an: Me: I was so happy before I lost my forearms in that shark attack Therapist: How do you feel now? Me: With my elbows
@shwebby2: Whenever I start to disrobe in front of a lady; I always hand her a card that states "A mild sense of Nausea is perfectly normal"
@U_Want_Shum_M8: *wins oscar I'd like to thank my legs,for always supporting me;my arms,who are always by my side& also my fingers,I can always count on them