@pharmasean: If youre a serial killer & you dont call your murder shack a 'bloodshed,' well I've just about given up on you
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@OtherDanOBrien: [Bomb will explode in 26 seconds] *googles "how to defuse a bomb"* *clicks top result* *it's a 17-page slideshow.* GODDAMMIT *an ad plays*
@MartaEffing: I hate when I catch a bouquet at a wedding and everyone judges me for lighting it on fire.