@pharmasean: If youre a serial killer & you dont call your murder shack a 'bloodshed,' well I've just about given up on you
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@Quartzjixler: Oppenheimer at the A-Bomb test saying "Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds" only me exiting the bathroom after eating Taco Bell.
@stockejock: Pretty much the most frightening part of my day is when I get a notification that my mother has tagged me in a post on Facebook.
@neiltyson: Never seen a bar fight break out while people are drinking wine. Beer, yes. Hard liquor, yes. But not wine.
@HopeUproar: Go to Target for shampoo. End up leaving with a blender, new pajamas, a couch, four kids and a car.