@pharmasean: If youre a serial killer & you dont call your murder shack a 'bloodshed,' well I've just about given up on you
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@Vodkantots: I really hope my family doesn't give me a urinal cake again for my birthday this year.
@Travon: Sunday is Easter, Hitler's birthday, the Columbine anniversary, and weed Christmas. Your move, greeting card section.
@murrman5: [determined not to have any awkward silence during date] "so, what's your favorite part of a banana?"
@abbycohenwl: Guy: If u won lotto, what'd u get? Me: A cat sitter G: To take extra good care of Sox? M: *pictures a cat in a suit taking care of me* Yes