@pharmasean: If youre a serial killer & you dont call your murder shack a 'bloodshed,' well I've just about given up on you
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@kimlockhartga: Dolly Madison should make snack cakes for diet "cheat days" and call them Ashley Madisons.
@david8hughes: [batteries in my TV remote die for the first time since I bought it 4 years ago] "Useless piece of shit."
@Glitta_J: If im walking around with my arms crossed, there's a 90% chance im not mad...Im just probably not wearing a bra
@RamblingMachine: My Mother asked me to suggest names for my brother's prospective children. I said I'll name the girl 'Denise' and the boy 'Denephew'.