@MoistPork: If you're a vegan and an atheist and a runner, how do you choose which way to annoy people in a conversation first?
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@AimeeHelene1: CW: What's for lunch; smells good! Me: Well I made lasagna last night but lost a fingernail in it & haven't found it yet. CW: Me: *smirks*
@RocketRankoon: [picks up date] *slides over hood of car* *slides off car onto another car* *slides off that one onto another car* *date looks at her watch*
@iGreenMonk: I went for a run in morning but came home after 2 minutes coz I forgot something I forgot that I'm so fat that I can only run for 2 minutes