@MoistPork: If you're a vegan and an atheist and a runner, how do you choose which way to annoy people in a conversation first?
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@Book_Krazy: Just because your kid says, "You're my hero" does not mean you can pick them up at school wearing a cape, apparently
@SamGrittner: Daniel Day-Lewis is so method that in preparation for the role of Abraham Lincoln in 'Lincoln' he spent ten months on the side of a penny.
@rockymomax: SURGEON (who is an octopus): scalpel NURSE: [sweating trying to figure out what arm to hand it to] yup one second
@RoosterMustache: [enter password] mypulloutgame [password weak] All 8 of my kids: daddy why are u crying