@MoistPork: If you're a vegan and an atheist and a runner, how do you choose which way to annoy people in a conversation first?
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@dafloydsta: [trying to get a massage] How much for a happy ending? "Sir, this is a library!" *whispers* sorry, how much for a happy ending?
@joeljeffrey: I didnt know how to tell this guy at Home Depot his fly was down... and he didnt know how to say thanks when I tried to help him zip it up.
@Mom_Overboard: Me: Dare me to find out how many Reese's peanut butter cups can fit in my mouth?! Date: What's happening right n- Me: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!
@maxhaarhaus: Her: so tell me a fun fact Me: the plural of octopus is really octopodes! H: I mean about yourself... M: ...I know the plural of octopus