@Phook75: If you're able to read this, thank a teacher! If you can do busy work while wasted and watch an unrelated video, thank a substitute teacher!
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@Mr_Kapowski: Wife: Where are you going? Me: I'm wearing my robe and boxer briefs so obviously I'm off to fight crime
@tombrodude: tinder, huh? back in my day if you wanted a girl to notice you, you had to dress like a gargoyle and cling to the roof of her parents' home
@iTomFoolery: Tatum is Latin for potato. Channing is from ancient times when someone brilliant was “The Chan”. So Channing Tatum is a brilliant potato.
@ABurgerADay: It's okay if you didn't notice that I switched my beard trimmer's setting from 6 to 5. The difference is stubble.