@1Happytwit: If you're already in the cop car, I really can't see how puking in it could make things any worse.
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@k3llytweets: boys literally have 0 excuse for not having communication skills bc I’ve seen y’all play group video games and you describe where ur at like it’s life or death
@DeadLioness: Getting murdered would be scary, but not as scary as if the forensic guy with the white chalk would trace my body fatter than I really was
@Darlainky: -That toaster oven looks worn out. Why are you still using it? -Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times.
@daemonic3: *buys a bunch of stuff at Costco* Sir, you wanna box for those? "Nah, I hate violence. Can I just pay cash?"