@1Happytwit: If you're already in the cop car, I really can't see how puking in it could make things any worse.
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@TitansHomer: How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. *drops mic, gets beat by security*
@SenatorBigfoot: "How's Mason doing?" Ugh, he's going through this emu kid phase. "Don't you mean emo kid?" *boy covered in feathers runs past* I wish.
@juliussharpe: For $100,000 I will come into your organization and evaluate whether the other consultants you're working with are idiots.
@NourHadidi: Last weekend, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie tied the knot in a small intimiate ceremony attended by 20 of their closest children.