@MouthOfSass: If you're appraching a 5th wipe you should just take a shower.
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@Flossieraptor: Bella is the most misunderstood girl in fiction. She games Edward for immortality, starts a vampire war&secures a wolf servant for her baby.
@kimlockhartga: I should get something accomplished, but the cat wants me to sit with him right now.
@El_nacho_Nigre: "Gotta wake up early" *sets alarm for 5am* *wakes up at 4:55am to cancel alarm* *goes back to sleep*
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped you? The dead guy in my trunk? Cop: Um, speeding, but my shift's over, so proper burial and no more murders. Ok?