@Lisa_Laughs_: If you're asking me to choose sides, I'll always choose potato salad.
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@Sickayduh: [hospital] SON: I came as soon as I heard. What happened? DAD: The oying hit me SON: What's an oying? DAD: You are, kiddo *dies*
@Henry_3k: As ice water runs down my face I conclude, "Boy, you sure like to eat bread!" is not a comment a lady on a dinner date enjoys hearing.
@alucardsdream: If zombies ever do attack, I'll just skip coffee that morning. They'll leave me alone because they'll think I'm one of them.
@ShadyLadyHH: I'm basically Switzerland. I'm cold and you have to get really high in order to truly appreciate my beauty.