@bellicosejason: If you're behind someone at an ATM, let them know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
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@Spaziotwat: [Creation] God: *creates the crab Crab: "wtf?" God:"You're a crab" Crab:"wtf?" God:"Now go forth" Crab: *walks sideways "WTAF?!"
@CraigChamberlin: Me: "You didn't tell me that." Them: "Yes I did, four times while you were staring at your phone." Me (looks up): "I'm sorry, what?"
@wickedsuga: When I get startled, I scream in a really deep voice instead of my normal one. Cause if I'm going to be freaked out, you should be too.