@Jubafisher: If you're bored, wear a cape. Then you can be Super Bored
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@ShortSleeveSuit: Blacksmith *shoes a horse* Swordsmith *forges a blade* Aerosmith *gives a groupie gonorrhea*
@kcmoore51: [sanitation worker knocks at my door] The amount of McDonald's related trash we're collecting from your home each week has us concerned.
@lianamaeby: The woman seated next to me wanted to know if San Francisco is near the water. I replied, "What's water?" so she wouldn't feel stupid.
@F5X11: I send flowers "From Steve" to my neighbors wife every Friday night, then watch them fight from my living room window while eating popcorn