@thatUPSdude: If you're buying your pregnancy test at the dollar store it's probably because he bought is his condoms there too.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Milariou: I go to a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50.
@Social_Mime: My thoughts are with you but my prayers are reserved for Kelly on FB that's cooking a casserole for the first time.
@pharmasean: DAD: I invented a diaper that's also a time machine! MOM: Where do the poops go DAD: dunno! [CUT TO: A BUNKER IN GERMANY, 1942] HITLER: omfg