@MinedOvaMatter: If you're creepy and you know it ~~~> buy a van
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@goldengateblond: You may think a squirt of water in the face is the best way to reprimand cats but turns out it works pretty well on people too.
@rockymomax: [having sex] Me: Oh ya you like that? Her: Deeper! Me: [baritone voice] OH YA YOU LIKE THAT?
@GrantTanaka: when the doctor starts putting on latex gloves at your next physical, a fun thing to do is to whip out your own pair & put them on too
@slimmy_shady: If anyone wants a tiger let me know. I bought one but he's being a d-bag and won't wear the matching sunglasses I bought us.