@EricaLynnz: If you're driving a getaway car just remember the best way to lose the cops is to ship them via the post office
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@MomOfTeen: For Mother's Day, I told my teens, I'm going to reenact every detail of each of your births.
@coketruck76: I was in a band called Click Bait. You won't believe the kind of music we recorded. Track number 5 will blow your mind.
@NurseSeymour: FYI fellas: if u wake up with some chick and u can't remember her name, take her to Starbucks. They'll write her name on the cup for ya!
@DanMentos: "do you know why I pulled one over on you?" becau- wait what? "I'm not a real cop lol" haha nice! *pulls gun* "I am taking your car though"