@weinerdog4life: If you're ever attacked by a bear play deaf, be like "I can't even hear you bear"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@coldlippdheresy: Told my boss the salary I want when I move to California. Him: so you want the moon and all the stars too? Me: and Saturn.
@garrydavenport: "We've been doing this for years, I simply can't be bothered thinking up another long scientific name. Drink?" - people who named the fly.
@caperbc75: Sorry my seductive strip tease to Janet Jackson's Black Cat blew your Grandma's pacemaker and caused your Mom to divorce your Dad.