@shutupmikeginn: If you're ever bored in a taxi I recommend mouthing, "Help Me" to strangers and watching their facial expressions
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WilliamAder: I wonder about the people who unfollow after one day. What were they expecting, Louis C.K.?
@djdarrellripley: It's true. Parents that use drugs, have kids that use drugs. So, there's an important lesson here... Don't have kids.
@PaperWash: Noah build an ark "what? why" I'm gunna flood the earth "just give me fish powers" [jealous he didn't think of that] JUST DO WHAT I SAY!
@WheelTod: "Dad?" "Yes, son?" "Where do busboys come from?" "Well, son. When a boy loves a bus very, very much..."