@Phook75: If you're ever in a room where a doll should happen to come to life it would be prudent to leave that room
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@TheCamelToe_: Have you ever noticed women say men only have one thing on their mind? Yet women constantly ask us what we're thinking.
@lisawhiteWHAT: My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?
@jakob_huber: *meets girl for coffee* *sets down blueprints for bank* "What's this?" Your dating profile said you were looking for a partner in crime
@AtypicalMama: H:"Where'd you get those shoes?" Me:"I've had these for years. Is that a new grill I saw?" H:"Nope just cleaned the old one" *Marriage lies