@SamuelHLowe: If you're ever on death row, request Denny's for your last meal so you can live an extra year waiting on your order.
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@WetzelGeek: Wifey put some girly glitter soap in the bathroom. This morning I look like I either just came from the strip club, or showered with Ke$ha.
@ceejoyner: Sometimes at the beach it's like "gross, is that a condom?" Yes. And it's staying on. Not looking to raise any shark children.
@3sunzzz: This chicken is so moist, what is your secret? I squeeze a little KY Jelly into its cavity before heating.