@JennyJohnsonHi5: If you're feeling down about yourself, it won't help you to know that Honey Boo Boo makes more money than school teachers.
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@philandher96: "It helps knowing that everyone else will die with me if we crash." ~my 11yo on why she's not afraid to fly unaccompanied
@hipstermermaid: I just want a time machine so I can show up at the Salem witch trials with an iPad.
@hardlyrelevant: "Oh, Monster TRUCK rally. Haha of course..." *Frankenstein slowly backs out of the room, hiding a 24 pack of condoms behind his back*
@WarrenHolstein: Police say Oscar Pistorius is a flight risk. How? Does he also have a pair of propeller feet?