@JennyJohnsonHi5: If you're feeling down about yourself, it won't help you to know that Honey Boo Boo makes more money than school teachers.
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@AliyanShaikh: Did you know? If you stand under the moonlight and say the name of your true love 3 times, you'll look really stupid.
@ShortSleeveSuit: Lady: Don’t go there it’s a very Brad neighborhood Me: Brad? *Hundreds of Brads ascend from the sewers. Time stops. The sky turns Brad*
@LosLos__: Doc: Your insurance won't cover it all. Me: What if I sewed myself shut? Doc: Suture self.