@GuyEndoreKaiser: If you're feeling down, park in a handicap space and soon a bunch of strangers will tell you that there's nothing wrong with you!
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@eileencurtright: Death hack: bury your loved ones with their fitness trackers for a low-cost early zombie alert system.
@JoyceCarolTotes: Sorry I got kicked out of the auditorium for yelling GET A TOMB YOU TWO during your little brother's 9th grade production of Romeo & Juliet.
@aparnapkin: Sometimes my stomach will make a noise and my brain will be like ok I never signed off on that