@GuyEndoreKaiser: If you're feeling down, park in a handicap space and soon a bunch of strangers will tell you that there's nothing wrong with you!
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@moooooog35: A bright side to having kids is that if I'm ever trapped in my car I have 3 years worth of half-empty water bottles and goldfish to live on.
@Kyle_Lippert: Me: Hey. Nice Honda. Him: It's an Acura. Me: All Asian cars look alike. Him: You're racist. Me: I bet your Toyota is good at math.
@LostCatDog: Cop leans over body: Looks like *removes shades* cement poisoning Or a case *removes mustache* of gravity Or *removes teeth* aaah gaah bwaa