@ch000ch: if you're feeling stressed out, just relax, take a deep breath, and exhale fire over all of your enemies. this is more for dragons btw
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@notfaizzy: Me: hello, police? I think I'm living with a murderer! Last night, she came home with a body... Crap! She just came in. Cat: *meow*
@Reverend_Scott: [first date] "So, I heard you work at the circus." [shallows bread stick whole] Nope. "You sure about that?" [chewing on glass] Yup
@BobWhite1975: 8- Dad, why is there oxygen on earth, but not on any other planet? M- Are you sure you just don't want to know where baby's come from?
@lovexios: I hate when people text 'call me'. I'm going to start calling people, say 'text me' and then hang up.