@AndrewChamings: If you’re forcing me to choose between you and my dream of making a sequel to the 1982 horror classic then you’ve got another Thing coming.
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@tarastrong: "Mom, I hate the word, 'Hemorrhoid'. It's like a weird planet. Hi,I'm Hemorroidian! Or oh no! A hemorrhoid is headed 4 Earth!" -my 12yr old
@GreenEyedJedi: I once dated a guy who left a trail of rose petals leading to a sinkful of dirty dishes.
@nbadag: DATE: so...this is your place? ME: yea...not fancy but it suits me. *opens flap of bouncy house* oh, also do you mind taking off your shoes
@Swain_Train47: Bernie Sanders was going to do a parody of Trump's slogan for his campaign but "Make America Bern Again" didn't go over well with marketing.