@pharmasean: If youre giving mouth-to-mouth, and you don’t want to get germs, you can put a harmonica between your lips and the victim’s
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@devansgorock: Pro Tip: don't believe everything on Twitter. Y'all said throw her up against the wall to keep her happy. Karen from accounting. Not Happy.
@ThatsSarcasm: *Picking up my kid from school in 20 years* Me: Yo shawty leggo. Kid: Please no. Me: Stop hating YOLO. Kid: You're embarrassing. Me: Swag.
@jonnysun: hey ther delilah wats it like in gotham city is the joker stil in jail-- sory-- i mean-- u look so prety yes u do batman is not as cool as u
@seriouslyemily: This girls skirt is so short I can see how many times her dad missed a dance recital from here.