@pharmasean: If youre giving mouth-to-mouth, and you don’t want to get germs, you can put a harmonica between your lips and the victim’s
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@nigelgodwin: My mom laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta
@LurkAtHomeMom: Me: let's go vegetarian Husband: can we still eat eggs M: of course H: fish? M: obviously H: bacon on special occas- M: we'd be crazy not to
@Black__Elvis: Even if you disagree with his politics you have to admit that for a second term president he doesn't even look pregnant.
@IamEnidColeslaw: I always keep at least 6 wigs in my trunk for trips to the grocery store so I can keep going back for samples