@Bdell1014: If you're going Black Friday shopping tomorrow, be a decent human being & turn your phone horizontal before you record any fights
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@Browtweaten: *At the magic show* Magician: Now I need a volunteer Gary the Murderer: *raises a hand* Magician: OH MY GOD WHOSE HAND IS THAT
@UnderTheJewFro: You can tell a lot about a person by the type of car they drive. For example, if they drive a Taxi, they're probably a cab driver.
@SaraMansford: Things I use my car for, from most to least: 1)Tweeting while parked 2)Snacking 3)Transporting bugs that can fly but are lazy 4)Driving