@TravZA: If you're going to a wedding this weekend and you see a random stranger dancing his nut off on the dance floor, I'm sorry, I lost a bet.
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@kellysdf: I thought I lost my car keys, but the NSA called and said they were in my other pants.
@shariv67: No one is reading any of these tweets. Feel free to unburden yourself. I murdered a drifter once. Wow. That feels great. Now you.
@_Tempo11: If you leave your dog tied up outside a corner store I'm walking it. No need to ask. Be back soon.