@gorrdano: If you're going to attack me in an @, you better be prepared to give me like three hours or so to think of a good comeback.
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@notfolu: I had to delete Facebook because I liked too many pictures of dogs yesterday and now the newsfeed algorithm thinks I care about those people
@iGreenMonk: They tried it standing up, sitting down and bent over the kitchen table but it was no good - they just couldn't get a decent wi-fi signal.
@astutenewf: Nothing sadder than the look on my dogs face when I drop food from the table and they realize it's lettuce.