@gorrdano: If you're going to attack me in an @, you better be prepared to give me like three hours or so to think of a good comeback.
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@JessObsess: Every time I cook risotto I feel like Gordon Ramsey is going to walk in and scream at me.
@thetobbie: One of the worst things about being deaf has to be the inability to tell whether people are yawning or screaming...
@ImaFlyontheWall: Me: So you're an Atheist? Him: Yup! Me: So what year is it? Him: 2015 Me: based on how years are counted after a certain birth?