@Underchilde: If you’re going to insist I get you a wedding gift, then I’m going to insist you bail me out when I get caught shoplifting it.
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@LosLos__: Stop. Stop it right now. I'm going to count to five. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. ~A parenting haiku.
@iGreenMonk: When someone tell me , "long time no see" i usually reply, "I know, we're really not that good of friends"
@vineyille: "I saw mommy kissing santa claus" has the same number of syllables as "I saw someone die at Disney World." Life's funny like that.
@ArfMeasures: HER: You ran over my cat ME: I'm so sorry HER: You're gonna have to replace him ME [imagines myself napping all day and pushing things off shelves] ok