@drinksmcgee: If you're going to lie about where you're from, at least try to make it sound like a real place and not something fake like "New Zealand"
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@ArfMeasures: ME: This house is haunted WIFE [sigh] We've been thru this, that's our son SON: I just have a pale complexion Dad ME: TELL ME YOU HEARD THAT
@hollyberryness: The early bird gets the worm but the early worm gets eaten, so... I choose sleep.
@ScorpionDong: Holy crap! This guy in the car next to me is absolutely losing his shit over "My Heart Will Go On"...said the guy in the car next to me
@TomItUp: "You're the Garbage Man, eh? What's your super power?" "I'm just here to take out the trash." "Whoa, we'll get to your catch phrase later."