@drinksmcgee: If you're going to lie about where you're from, at least try to make it sound like a real place and not something fake like "New Zealand"
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@danielmarven: My GF found lipstick in my pocket, I admitted I'm cheating... I don't want her to know I'm selling AVON.. I want to eat my money in peace
@Lindzeta: i think a fun answer, when asked about your flaws in a job interview, would be “you’ll see”
@junejuly12: Top 5 forms of torture 5. Sleep deprivation 4. Dentist drills 3. Solitary confinement 2. Water boarding 1. Cilantro
@ericacanrant: Looking for rich sugardaddy to support me so I can support my boyfriend so he can tweet more. *thoughtful romantic tweet*