@Amiigat: If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
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@david8hughes: [son hands me a picture he painted] Me: what's this Son: it's our house Me: have you ever actually looked at our house
@MomofTeen: Gravy boat. Gravy boat. All the dishes are on my son's bedroom floor so I'm drinking coffee from a GRAVY BOAT!
@Rhythms_n_Booze: Cop: What's the hurry? Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now.