@on_the_fritz_17: If you're going to suffocate someone with a pillow, have the goddamn decency to use the cool side.
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@Sickayduh: Her: Ok, on 3 lets,say what movie our marriage is most like. 1.. 2.. 3 *simultaneously* Her: THE NOTEBOOK Me: SHAWSHANK REDEMPTIONOTEBOOK
@topaz_kell: Safety Tip: Always have a loaded water gun ready to go in case of a home invasion by a cat burglar.
@SaddleLawman: Bees disappearing is worrisome because of the environment but also there's the possibility of invisible bees.
@MartaEffing: [Puzzle Group Therapy] Crossword: Just once, someone use a pen! Sudoku: Nobody likes math. Jigsaw: ..Then they glued me together! *sobs*