@iGreenMonk: If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.
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@badbanana: Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life.
@jazmasta: "I feel like a failure, doc. I've got 5 boys and they ALL work as hotel valets" "Wow this is the worst case of parking sons I've ever seen!"
@Tommytoughstuff: Dating tip: don't mention your time as a Boy Scout, let your sash full of badges do the talkin.
@VapingSonic: ME: haha u dare me to take off all my clothes and run thru this park COP: no ME: wow I cant believe ur making me do this lol COP: I'm not