@TheTweetOfGod: If you're going to throw someone under the bus, make sure it's moving.
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@squirrel74wkgn: *drops off box to Salvation Army* "Sir, why is this box marked W I F E?" *peels out*
@sixfootcandy: I'm having lunch with my mom today. I can't wait to hear how tired and unmarried I look.
@TwinSurvivalist: After significant research, I can confirm that toddlers will not go away if you ignore them.