@thesulk: If you're gonna kill yourself, at least do it on a parent's birthday so they know why.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Coworker: I couldn't sleep. Just thinking all night Me: Maybe try doing some of that here in the office during the day
@Sassafrantz: "911, what's your emergency?" Me: A cute guy at the laundromat walked past me while I was folding my period underwear.
@HeyJennyConway: My thoughts are as pure as snow... after the trucks have driven hard and plowed through it.