@ClaytonSykes: If you're gonna offer free milk for coffee at a convenience store, don't get all weird when I bring in a dry bowl of cereal.
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@TheAlexNevil: *gets bitten by a radioactive bear *before developing super powers, gets eaten by radioactive bear
@web_supergirl: coworker asked me if I needed a hug and now he doesn't work here because people that are on fire can't work.
@ItsAndyRyan: DRIVING ON HIGHWAY Wife: You just missed a right. Me: Thanks babe – you just MRS right.