@Eagle_Vision: If you're happy and you know it, share your meds
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@TheQuietPsycho: I get caught zipping my pants up while standing beside the turkey just one time, and suddenly she never needs help in the kitchen anymore
@tombrodude: tinder, huh? back in my day if you wanted a girl to notice you, you had to dress like a gargoyle and cling to the roof of her parents' home
@SaraESpivey: After I orgasm, I yell "Aaaaand scene." Then I push him off me, throw him his clothes while holding the door open& say "Ummm. We'll call u."
@Smooheed: Jobs I'd be shit at: -brain surgeon -rocket scientist -ventriloquist -goat herder -sober person thingy