@pintubaba_: If you're happy and you know it, thank your ex.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ShutUpThatsWho: [taking pregnant wife to hospital ER] Me: Help! My wife's having contradictions! Dr: Don't you mean contractions? Wife: Never say never
@SoulYodeler: Wait you *must* be the aunt I've heard soooo much about. The one who looks like Freddie Mercury and laughs like a jackal. Is this her honey?
@TommyKarate: Forgot to open the door before applying hand lotion so now I'm stuck in my restroom forever.
@wolfpupy: i argued with the parrot at the pet store until it got sold away and the guy who bought it wouldnt let me in his car. that means i won