Funny Tweeter

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@FriendlyAssh0le: if you're having a bad day, remember, there are people out there who have their ex's name tattooed on themselves.

if you’re having a bad day, remember, there are people out there who have their ex’s name tattooed on themselves.
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@PoonWhisperer1: The GF goes away for 10 days, *shits going to get wild * sleeps in middle of bed

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@OneTrickTofani: "GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL" "Sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse" "Oh rad bring it in"

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@68Cly29: The part of the Harry Potter movies that I found most unbelievable was that mostly unsupervised teenagers never had wild keg parties.

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@Jennifergr8: I have no super powers. I'm guessing I'm the villain.

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@Kimpulses: I've been reading your Oscar tweets, and America should not vote on things as a general rule going forward.

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