@DanMentos: "If you're having girl? Problems. I feel bad. For you? Son." -Russian guy telling his pregnant wife he hopes it's a boy.
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@jergarl: Jocelyn from Facebook will unfriend you if you give her a Blockbuster gift card for her stupid baby shower. I know that now.
@IamEveryDayPpl: "Liquor in the front, poker in the back" is not an acceptable tee shirt slogan for my church's charity poker team... I know that now.
@mstluvstrinkets: Her: I'm running a little late. M: how many more seconds er I mean yeah sure take your time. Me, trying to play it cool with the babysitter
@Book_Krazy: Me: you can't just be pretty. You have to be smart too! 8: But mom, you're pretty. Me: Awe thank......wait what?