@MollyERA: "IF YOU'RE HAVING KNITTING PROBLEMS I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SON--" "stop rapping, Grandma" "--I GOT 99 PROBLEMS AND A STITCH AIN'T ONE"
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@truegritrumble: WIFE: Were you harassing that old gypsy woman again? ME: *fighting off a crow* Of course not! WIFE: You lying to me? ME: No. *rains frogs*
@_NTFG_: I'll tell you what's wrong with modern society. Nobody ever drinks out of the skulls of their enemies anymore.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I think it's adorable when kids lose their teeth, they look like tiny meth addicts.