@ninetek: If you're having luftballon problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 luftballons and whatever whatever I don't speak German
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@bridger_w: I wish there was enough room on TV for another show called Judge Judy, but where people just stood around criticizing a woman named Judy.
@KevinBuffalo: *placing Trump & Hillary signs on my lawn Neighbor: "Confused about who to vote for?" Me: "What? No! I'm making a Halloween haunted house."
@INDlAN_: Dad- I want you to have everything in this world that your heart desires. *Can I have oreos?* [NO]
@awkwardphilippe: [opens fortune cookie] -You will have a great night "aw, that's neat, wait there's more" [unrolls note further] marish clown assassinate you