@jinkee: if you're hiding from a deranged killer and forget to put your phone on silent, at least make the ringtone the benny hill theme.
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@SuMacDan: Teens are leaving FB for Twitter & Instagram to escape parents. Silly rabbits, we were here first.
@daemonic3: We're having sweet potato fries with dinner "Haha sweet potatoes?" DON'T "Don't what?" You're gonna make a dumb potato pun "I YAM NOT!"
@CVTBaby: Me: *mouths I love you* Him: M: *blows kiss* H: M: *adjusts my pajama top* H: *empties the can & hops onto the side of the garbage truck*
@thenatewolf: Salesman: first time buying a motorcycle? Me: that obvious? Salesman: nobody asks "how loud is the vroom?" they ask "what's the vroomage?"