@jinkee: if you're hiding from a deranged killer and forget to put your phone on silent, at least make the ringtone the benny hill theme.
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@El_nacho_Nigre: Legend has it if u whisper IKEA 3x in the mirror an extra screw will appear & you'll be haunted by the piece of furniture you ill-assembled.
@SufficientCharm: 5 Stages of Pregnancy: 1: Crying 2: Peeing 3: Crying because you peed 4: Peeing because you're crying 5: The toilet is your home now
@ericsshadow: CNN: President Obama Saves The Life Of A Choking Child. FOX: Failed President Obama Tries To Take Jobs Away From Hard Working EMS Workers.
@Ndeshi_M: I told all my colleagues at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I don't have to talk to them.